Long Distance Relationship

SD and I have been friends for more than five years. We have been in a relationship for two years. We are such unfortunate souls that all those years have been long-distance. Luckily, we made it work. So I can proudly say that I am an expert at long distance relationships.

So this post is for those couples in long distance relationships. Only SD can give the guy’s perspective so this post is mostly for the girls…

long-distance-relationshipYou have problems? You are depressed? You are elated? Talk to him. Tell him. Share it with him. Do it over the phone. Do it over the internet. Or do it the good-old way using hand-written letters. If you have do not share enough with each other, then you are digging a grave for your relationship. It need not be 24×7 constant talking/chatting like how SD and I do mostly rarely. It can just be one hour or thirty minutes each day. But fill it with all the love in the world and tell him everything you want to tell. And listen to everything he has to say. Sharing has to be two way. If you do all the talking and he doesn’t tell you a thing, then it means something is wrong.

Quit whining. Right now. Even when you are in a normal relationship, whining can get very very irritating. At least the boy can distract you with make-outs. In a long distance relationship he can’t do that too. He just has to listen to you. And if you go on whining about how he never gives you time, about how busy he is always, about why you think he doesn’t love you anymore like he used to… you will not have to go through the pains of long distance relationship anymore. In fact, you will not have to go through the pains of a relationship. You get it? Whining is a deal breaker.

Be intelligent. Even when you do not talk all the time, you should know his schedule/routine. You should be able to understand when he is in office, when is at home and when he is out with friends. SD tells me that many of his friends who are long distance relationships two-time easily. There can be only two reasons why this happens… either the other one in the couple is dumb or naïve. Or the other one in the couple is also happily two-timing that he/she doesn’t care.

Trust blindly and follow your instinct. This is a magical combination is long distance relationships. You are not there with him. You have to go by what he is saying. So trust him with all your heart. But when your instinct says something is going wrong, then immediately act on it. Do not ignore your instinct and continue trusting. If you do… then you are unintentionally watching the ship sink and not running for a life-boat. That is pretty stupid, isnt’t it? 😀

Keep the boy happy. You do know how much physical stuff matters for boys, don’t you? It is sad that he is away with no action. So compensate in every way you can. Send photos, lots of it. And no, it is not your face that they want to look at always. Do crazy stuff in video chats. Keep showing him what is waiting. Keep showing him what is his.

Send gifts. Irrespective of the distance, send gifts for him. If the courier charge is high, then save up and send. It matters. You are not there. But when your gift reaches him, he will feel your presence.

Don’t be sad that is a long distance relationship. A relationship is what you make of it. It can be delightful if you put in the lots effort. Nothing good ever comes easy. Long distance relationship is no exception. Love with all your heart and cherish him with all your being. If this is the real deal, then you are going to be with each other forever. So be happy! 🙂

Love,
H

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Meeting In-laws for the First Time…

…can be nerve-wracking.

The situation gets worse with each of these points:

  • You are Indian. The in-laws are Indian.
  • You are a non-vegetarian. The in-laws are vegetarians.
  • You think yourself as the right mix of modern and traditional. The in-laws think they are moderately traditional.
  • You agree to meet them alone. And the in-laws come as a family.
  • Finally, the icing on the cake and the cherry on top is that the boy chose you. And not the in-laws.

My situation included all the above. 😀 And to top it all, SD was not with me to signal when I was digging my grave or to just hold my hands. 😦

This post is to share the wisdom I gained from meeting the in-laws for the first time and messing it up in every possible way. (Sigh!)

Here is a list of do’s and don’ts for the bride-to-be:

  • Bride-to-beDon’t seek advice from your boy. Unless he has taken at least ten girls home saying she is the girl he wants to marry. He has your best interest at heart, yes. But poor thing.. he is so much in love with you that he can’t think straight. So let him be and use your judgement.
  • Wear a saree. DOT. Don’t even think about it twice. You want to impress Indian parents? Just wear a saree. And guess what… you will look your most beautiful self in a saree. 🙂 What more can you ask for? 
  • Don’t talk much. When you talk too much and you are a blabber-mouth like me, then you will end up saying things you will regret later. Too much information is always bad. 😀
  • Smile a LOT. I know you will be unbelievably nervous. But tell yourself to smile more. Pleasant smile. Not this ridiculous ha-ha-ha laughter. That will just scare them away. You wouldn’t want to do that. Be the coy bride-to-be.

I did all the above mentioned things exactly opposite and it did show all possible effects. But then, they are sweet and generous and SD was patiently adamant about me (he already regrets it). So it all worked out good!

So in case you are going to meet your fiance’s parents for the first time… best of luck to you! May it take only a look for them to fall in love with you! 🙂

Love,
H

@ Feminists: Please don’t be mad at me. I am just being practical here.

Hello!!!

I don’t know what miracle brought you here but WELCOME! We are excited to have you in our (web) home.

I love writing. I love the anonymity of a blog. I wanted to be able to share my thoughts without worrying what people I know might think and how they would react. And I am getting married. Putting all that together, Indian Couple was born. 🙂

This is my first post but I already kind of know that this blog is going to be super famous. I am looking at 10,000 views per day at some time. 😀

Being a pro-active girl, I got it all figured out…

E-mail us @ email.indiancouple@gmail.com
Poke us @ Indian Couple
Tweet to us @ _IndianCouple

We welcome you the Indian way. 🙂

vanakkam

Love,
H

P.S. SD is the silent-spectator and feedback-provider. I will be the one writing and ranting in this little space of ours. 🙂

P.P.S. I am excited!! 😀